Wednesday, November 2, 2022

Leaving Labels Behind

 It's 4:30 am and of course, my brain is racing. I have so much going on between kids, college, work, church, and the normal daily stuff. All I want is to sleep so I’m not exhausted tomorrow. But my mind keeps going to this thought of labels. What is the purpose of labels? Why do they make us feel accepted and rejected at the same time?  Why do I feel so compelled to fit a label but then feel suffocated to be in that label?

I guess that it is a natural tendency to be in a group. It's gone on throughout history. Segregating naturally depending on race, place of origin, and religion. I observe the students I teach through the different grade levels I have noticed how they start off in the elementary ages being open to everyone. Groups aren’t really formed in the first few years at school. As the students, age and awareness about the world around them grows the labels and clicks start to form. These groups are a sounding board for adolescents.  Friends make us feel accepted and understood. Those clicks also give us labels. Nerds, popular, rednecks, jocks…. you get the point. So when school is over what do we do?

We evolve, either staying in those same categories or changing into something else. I guess the best thing about adulthood is that you really get the chance to figure out who or what you want to be. I have found in myself that I am constantly evolving in my labels.  The first label that came to me that will be a lifelong label is mother. I love being a mother to my four children. When they were little, it was a role as caregiver, nurturer, provider, and protector. Now that they are a little older it is more of a confidant, safe haven, and teacher. Motherhood is an evolving role that I feel comfortable in. Other labels seem to feel more confining.

What about those labels that seemed to fit that now don’t. I feel like this world wants to put me in compartments that I don’t want to be in. Stereotype and  be something that I don’t want to be. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The worldly stereotypes that are developed based on cultural practices don’t fit me.  I don’t want opinions formed of me based on that stereotype.

That standard question of “Tell us about you” is usually a list of labels that only tell a little bit about the person. My answer is normally wife, mother, LDS, business student, substitute teacher, and conservative. From those labels, my guess is that you would automatically perceive the type of person that I am. But what if you were wrong.  What is if when asked to tell something about ourselves we name personality characteristics like growth mindset, genuine, accepting, and passionate. Would it change the way we see others?

 As I am learning more about myself, I am figuring out that labels and stereotypes limit growth and potential. When we constrict ourselves to fit a mold we are hurting ourselves from becoming the people we are intended to be. For me when I think of labels the only one I want to fit into is Sara. The one and only with limitless potential. 

~Sara



  Let's do the math.  My bio dad donated sperm twice a week every week from late 1983 to 1989. Let's make it simple and say 6 years....